A Child is a Child

A baby girl. Mine. Black eyes, hair the color of coal, smooth and flawless skin. This is what is promised, this is what is guaranteed. I opened the backdoor and stood in front of my husband with my hands stubbornly on my hips. He looked up with a blank expression with no concern, almost as if he had expected, at any moment, for me to come rushing outside after him like I did.
"I want to adopt from China."
I said this without any questions, without any room for debate.
Looking up at me from the lawn chair, he replied "Ok."
Ok? That's it? I had talked to him about this before, but it never went this smooth. Was he feeling ok?
Mustering up a little more courage I said, "I really mean it. I want to get things started now so we can have a baby in the next couple of years."
"Alright" he replied, as if I had just told him I was running to the store for milk
I relaxed my stance, "Ok then. I'll get the information together."
I closed the door behind me.
YES!I inwardly cheered.
That simple! We want a child, and there will BE a child! There will be an orphan. It's guaranteed. Our future daughter will be born, she will be abandoned, she will live in an orphanage for almost a year until we come and rescue her. She, the one we have waited for. The one we each bought a toy for not two years ago when we talked about adopting from China before but could never afford. He bought her some rubber duckies, I bought her a stuffed doll that says, "A star is born" on her little shirt.

In my usual meditation spot (the shower) I prayed for the mother of our unborn daughter. I asked God to give the girl peace when she lays that precious bundle at the door of the orphanage, that she will know she's doing the right thing, that she will not feel regret. I asked Him to protect our daughter from any harmful actions, and comfort her until we can go to her and bring her to her home. I felt good after that.
And so...the journey begins.