For me, there is a lot of loss.The loss of:
- A childbirth experience
- The special attention, care and support that pregnancy brings to you,
- Control, as efforts toward conception result in disappointment
- the adoption process, as a myriad of social workers, government officials and other ‘professionals’ decide and orchestrate the rest of your life.
- The surprise, shock of seeing a (+) on a pregnancy test
- The wonder of carrying life
- the joy of having others decide who the child looks like the most
For our child, the loss of:
- his first days, months, or even years of his life.
- Knowledge of the whys and hows of his personality, medical condition and even behaviors. Is it something I have done, something in his past that I have no knowledge of, or simply genetic programming?
- Being blood related