Hopefuls

We received an email from a man (Rocky) from a local church, that is over the Hope for 100 program the other day. The email contained a link to another company that might be able to help us financially. I spoke with a lady yesterday and got the pre-screening done so that we could apply. After chatting for a few minutes, we were both surprised to discover that her daughter, adopted from China, was at the very same orphanage that Chanz is at!
Rocky called this afternoon to check and see if we had any luck and to let him know if we needed anything. He said to check in with him and let him know our needs before we let this fall through. It felt so nice to have hope and understanding about this difficult process!

Waiting on You

We're still waiting for something to come through for us to help us proceed with this adoption. I get so frustrated with this whole process. The fees that we are required to pay are outrageous and I really feel adoptive parents get taken advantage of.
I've been praying everyday for a door to open for us. I feel like a stone has been dropped into my soul and it just weighs there, everyday. This little boy is already so much a part of our hearts and we desire nothing more than to welcome him into our home and show him a good life. I can't bear the thought of letting him down..he was already let down by his first parents.

I'm thanking God for making a way when there doesn't seem to be one. He's shown me that often enough throughout my own life, that's for sure.


I just heard a song with a message that applies to this whole process!
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Psalms 43:5  Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your
hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

I never expected adoption to have as many emotions mixed in with it as dealing with infertility. We are so excited, probably just as excited as any expectant parent would be. A little different, I'm sure, but I think a lot of the same concerns and stresses.
Unfortunately, adoption is quite expensive. We applied for financial assistance through the ABBA fund/Hope for 100 and have waited forever for a response. Well, I got a response alright: we were denied. "Of course!" I thought to myself. Why would it be easy? Nothing having to do with having children is easy for us!
I know, that sounds awful, but it's how I felt.
We have this precious little boy waiting for us (although he doesn't know it yet) and we face enormous expenses that with my human heart, mind and soul I CAN NOT foresee how we will EVER make it.
I'm just thankful I serve a God that's big enough to take care of this for us. I don't know how, I can't see how with the deadline we have to meet, but I'm just going to hold on to my faith that God will come through for us like he has so many other times in the past.
I'm not happy, I'm quite upset, actually. I was surprised by how upset I was! But all I could imagine was losing the opportunity to have that little boy. I can't bear the thought.
Prayers are welcomed and needed.
We only have one more piece of paper that we are waiting on to complete our dossier. We are sooo close to finishing the hard part of paperwork. I need God to show us how to afford it... quickly! Looks like another fast on the horizon

IT'S A BOY!!

heh heh..that never gets old.

I'm finding it completely frustrating that I can't post pictures of that sweet little boy just yet. He's cute, I'm telling ya! I know that once he's here, I'm going to have more photos than I will know what to do with. I'm happy about that prospect :)

GWCA sent out an email that they were offering concurrent adoptions to other countries. The one we were interested in before was Nepal. We already have it in our heads that we would adopt a little girl from there. So.. I just printed out an application. I know, I know, where WILL we get the money? The answer is: I don't have a clue. I don't. I do not have the money that is required but what I DO have is faith and an ear for the Lord's voice.

I had always thought I would be a missionary but I never expected it to be in this form! Tim and I would love to have our own children, but having the opportunity to reach our arms across the globe and around a child who might otherwise never hear the Good News..now that is amazing.

The time line, once we get started, is probably about a year, which means Chanz will have enough time to get settled in (as well as us!) before we bring home a little girl. The youngest they adopt their children out is around 12 months, which is baby enough for us!

Of course that whole adventure will be recorded right here, but for now, we're all about bringing Chanz home! Soon..very soon..we will be able to post pictures. You won't be disappointed!

A Poem

For My Adopted Flower

I wasn’t there the very second you were born
The hour
The month
The year
I didn’t witness the miracle of your first breath
First cry
First smile
First blink
I completely missed your first year
The days
The months
The seasons

Holidays slip from the calendar
Emptiness filling the half hours
Hauntingly beautifully tragically
Time grows you without an apology

Standing undone

Didn’t know how

Fragile, my son

Needing me now

Didn’t know you had been born so soon
Couldn’t know you were my rising moon
Distance is now not a friend to me
Waiting now your face is all I see

Not too long and you’ll be in my arms
Not much time you’ll be safe from harm
Keep you forever inside my love
You are my great quest my special one

The Timeline

Sunday, May 10, 2009- application to GWCA officially submitted

Monday, May 18, 2009-signed contract with GWCA

June
July  Homestudy
August
September
October
November
December
January
February  homestudy FINALLY finished

Wed 3/03/10 8:01 PM - Found Chanz in the archivesTue 3/09/10 10:08 AM - Notifed that Chanz was still available!
Wed 3/24/10 3:55 PM - Pre-Approval (PA) from CCAA